walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
