yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's the barista slut.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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