So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
