Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
