a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
