My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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