He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
