Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
