So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
