Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
