Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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