I smell stomach acid.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize