I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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