I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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