I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
