After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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