i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
