Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
