And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
