Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
