I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
