I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
