i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
