Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
