isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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