She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
