I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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