I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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