i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
