I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
