Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
