I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
