Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
