Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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