That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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