Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
