I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
