his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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