in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize