I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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