Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
