i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dicks are not precious.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
