I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
