I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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