There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
