he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
