So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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