I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize