Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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