omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
