OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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