there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
