Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
