Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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