Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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