i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize