Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
