Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize