were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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