i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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