he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Pooping to opera.
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