she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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