Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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