ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
