Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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