Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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