Where did you get a picture of my penis
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
