I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
