pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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