either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Less talking, more tequila
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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