is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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