can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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