Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
