They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
