is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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