trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
